The curse of the Star Trek Crew Member in Red

By Sue Griffiths

Have you ever noticed that there's one character in Star Trek or Stargate who just can't stay out of trouble or keeps getting injured? Here at League of the Non aligned towers, I'm that person. It wasn't my idea to be the resident disaster area… it's one of those things that just seems to happen…

With this in mind, maybe I should have had an idea of what was in store when I wore a Star Trek Uniform featuring that ill fated colour - red - when we went on an away team to Chessington. The day started off pretty well, with everyone enjoying the rides and feeling glad it wasn't pouring down with rain as it had done on a previous Chessington away team.

Group at Chessington

I have to admit, I was feeling a little fragile as I was recovering from a throat problem, so I thought I'd play it safe by going on the more "gentle" rides.

However, my theory was disproved on Professor Burp's Bubbleworks. The ride in question is so slow and user friendly. Happily seated in the car, floating along and looking at various bubble related scenery, how could I guess that danger was lurking RIGHT NEXT TO ME?!

The answer should have been quite easily, as two people were having a tussle over a resin phaser rifle, both determined to put it to full use. You see, we all bring phasers and tricorders with us on these events, only these two away team members had gone one better. Something I found out when the object in question somehow found my head, allowing me to see more stars than Janeway sees when she looks through the viewscreen!! (Thanks, Will and Nathan!)

Amazingly, I escaped disaster for the rest of the day, then we all went to the pub for an evening drink before heading home - and it was there, disaster struck once again! I daren't go into too many details but let's just say it involved one of my friends, her dad's flash car and a paper bag…

Homer Simpson said it best - DOH!! …AND MORE!

You might have thought I would have learned my lesson from this but it would seem not! This sorry tale of disaster continued, funnily enough on another away team. We all arranged to go to Chilsehurst caves, which I have to recommend! I escaped, disaster free - until we got to St James's park.

Girl Power!

OK, I didn't have to play tag - but it looked like such fun! So, I joined in, running around, having a laugh until SOMETHING HAPPENED! Let's just say that my ankle reacted badly to the rough terrain, leaving me incapacitated for the rest of the day (but still in a fit state to drink pints, thank goodness!)

And guess which colour I was wearing? RED! …AND STILL MORE!

I'm pleased to say that not everything that has happened to me whilst I've been wearing my red Star Trek Voyager uniform has been bad. Just before Christmas, 1998, I was invited by my good friend, Alan O'Shea, to an event he'd organised for charity - the Irish premiere of Star Trek Insurrection. I flew over that day, we met up at the airport OK, and got to the cinema just fine. We both decked ourselves out in our Star Trek uniforms, specifically for that occasion, and made our way to the auditorium. However, it emerged that Alan had a little surprise for me…

Insurrection

Unbeknown to me, I was going to take part in a little "fancy dress parade" - five of us, all decked out in various Star Trek costumes, would be standing in front of the audience to be judged!! I looked at all the people there and thought… well this could be interesting…! If a little daunting…

Sure enough, my name was called and I made my way to the front of the auditorium where I stood, with my fellow "victims", looking up at more people than I could count! We paraded about in our costumes, which is something I never thought I'd end up doing at a cinema, and were then judged according to how loud the audience clapped for each entry.

In the end, a friend of Alan and mine, Frank, won the contest - and I have to say he really did look the part in a red movie uniform costume.

Happily enough, we all went on to a nightclub after the movie - which was great, as I sure needed my pint of lager!! And even better - despite the fact I was wearing red, I didn't have a single accident all night! How's that for a miracle?!

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