We decided to take tricorder readings of these alien flying creatures we found around this ancient totem pole. Have you ever tried getting a reading of one pigeon at Trafalgar square? We got a lot of strange looks trying to chase just one and all we found out was that they taste like chicken.

We'd heard the Daleks were poised to invade so we were out in force. All this security and all we needed was a doctor.

Meanwhile on the Bridge … Well, there was no sign saying we couldn't pose on the set!!! (not that we could see but the Klingon was hungry.)The train journey was fun with every stop the two Klingons would lean out the windows and say in an upper crust accent "Hello, nice weather for the time of year would you like some Earl Grey tea? … Hello, hello, you in the red jumper I'm talking to you … " Well, you had to be there!

Someone just said "I much prefer Space Precinct" What do they know in Portsmouth? Us showing off. Notice our leader Nero (he's the short hairy fella with 4 legs and a drooling problem) no not the Klingons.

The crew get to meet six of nine.Just to prove it, we do have girlfriends

Men do have to fight for equality in the twenty-fourth century. We're sorry we didn't say anything about P.M.T.

The prime directive means away team members must blend in with all local customs and rituals (no matter how bizzare). Or Dave's just had the hot vindaloo again!

At Chistlehurst we had to defend ourselves against Dungeon and Dragon players who use the caves to play in. We were holding our own untill the wizard found his teleport spell …

… the next thing we knew we were looking at fifty androids.(Well roger roger yourselves).

"Aren't you a little short for a Dark Lord?" "Hey wait till I grow up, in this film I'm only nine!" We went to see the Phantom Menace and we had to do it in style.

Lots of fun can be had by standing still untill someone walks by and then suddenly saying something like "Are you interested in joining the Church of the Dark Side" and see them jump to Cloud City!